PUT A RING ON IT? NOT HURRYING IN YOUR 30’S IS THE NEW NORM
Lhia Ubaldo | May 12, 2020
Times have changed. Waiting longer to get married has become the new normal – and the wisest decision!
When it comes to marriage and age, we consider marrying when we feel ready – until we’re mature, financially secure, established in our careers and comfortable with ourselves. But the pressure to “settle down” mounts when we hit our 20’s, and if a person (especially a woman) hits their 30th birthday and passes without a proposal, they’d feel as if they missed their moment. When we see photos and videos of our friends getting engaged on social media and flashing their engagement rings, we can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. You can’t deny you’ve felt that in some parts of your 20’s. A.A Milne said “Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” So do we really get there at all?
You may be one of the many who feel the need to tick off that ‘just got married’ in your life goal checklist or bucket list before 30 but most people start to get an idea of who they really are and what is important to them sometime after 25. We usually dreamed (but really, we are assuming LOL) we’d be married and have a couple of kids before we reach the end of our 20s, but the reality’s very different and distinctly more Bridget Jones-ish when we were younger. We often hear our grandparents tell stories that back in their day, when a young woman reaches the age of 18, it’s the right age for marriage. But times had changed and we are in a new generation already. So if you’re reading this and you’re about to reach the big 3-0, we’d like to share some good news to you.
DON’T PANIC, ITS NORMAL NOW
“Good things come to those who wait.” Ring a bell? This saying may be very cliché to hear but it’s true! Studies show that majority of people who got married early in their 20’s are more likely to get divorced (we don’t mean ALL couples. Just some.) Many marriage therapists, the people who help fix unhappy marriages, believe this is because wisdom truly does come with age. Studies have surfaced that more people are waiting longer to tie the knot today. After a certain age, we tend to have a higher level of emotional maturity. We have a wider range of experiences to evaluate a potential mate. We’re more independent, less clingy, and less needy. Basically, as we get older and wiser, we are emotionally resilient, we’re smarter at separating the wheat from the chaff.
WE’LL ALL GET THERE BUT FOR NOW…
Allow yourself to let life and experiences shape your personality before you enter a union with another person. We should be given the time to put our careers and personal development first, because no matter what anyone says, marriage is hard. It takes time, effort, patience, maturity and work. And most people will be glad they developed self-confidence, assertiveness and the ability to work with others before they joined their lives with someone else’s.