YOUR ENGAGEMENT: TOO LONG, TOO SHORT OR JUST RIGHT?
Lhia Ubaldo | June 24, 2020
So you’re engaged, congratulations! Now you hop on to the next part which is planning for your actual wedding! But before you start planning, has it ever crossed your mind of just how long should you be engaged? You’ve probably seen a ton of movies and you see them elope or get married after a few months (or days even) after the proposal. And surely you’re familiar with the news that a celebrity couple just got engaged and after a few days, you see their wedding video on TV or on social media with millions of views.
But the truth is, long or short, there’s no right answer on how long a couple should be engaged. Dating does not have the same intention as an engagement does. The engagement period is a time where both people are getting to know each other with the intention of spending the rest of their lives together. But it’s different for everyone. What is right for you and your partner may very well be the opposite for another couple.
If you’re trying to determine how long you and your partner should wait before tying the knot, here is our take. We hope this will help you have an idea for the length of an engagement.
WHAT IS AN ENGAGEMENT
An engagement or betrothal is the relationship between two people who want to get married, and also the period of time between a marriage proposal and a marriage. During this period, a couple is said to be fiancés, betrothed, intended, affianced, engaged to be married, or simply engaged.
There are couples who just can’t wait and want to have their wedding ceremony right away. Wedding experts says that a short engagement can be 6-10 months long. And that’s ok! There is no right or wrong answer for the length of an engagement. Below are some of the reasons why some couples prefer to make it quick as possible.
IT MAKES YOU LESS INDECISIVE
Just think how people in game shows are. They don’t have time to ponder too long for their answers. Wedding experts say an engagement lasting less than a year is ideal too. The more time you have, the more you can overthink and second guess everything. By having a shorter planning period, it forces you and your partner to make quick and assertive decisions which, in turn, can help relieve some stress.
IT CALLS FOR A SMALL & INTIMATE WEDDING
If you and your partner choose to marry in 3-6 months after your engagement, that usually calls for a small and intimate wedding. You might have a shorter guest list, which makes it easier to put together a wedding on such short notice!
IT KEEPS THE EXCITEMENT ALIVE
By having a short engagement, the excitement on the upcoming nuptials remains in the forefront. You, your partner and your loved ones will be extra excited about your wedding. One of the problems with an extended engagement is that the level of excitement begins to diminish over time, not only with the person who is engaged to get married, but with friends and families as well. A shorter engagement time can also mean they could really soak up all the excitement in a condensed time period.
YOU JUST CAN’T WAIT TO GET MARRIED
Ahh, love. It’s such a beautiful thing. Maybe you and your partner just couldn’t wait to get married and spend the rest of your lives together, ASAP! If that’s the case, a quick engagement is the ideal option.
OTHER THINGS TO EXPECT FROM A SHORT ENGAGEMENT
- Potentially having a stressful or rushed wedding planning experience
- You might not get your first choice in venue, vendors or band
- You receive fewer RSVPs due to the short notice
- Having limited options in decor, attire and personalized items
- You are quicker to return to your regular work/life balance
There are plenty of reasons why you should take your time with your engagement. Research shows that the average engagement length is about 13 months. Although 12 to 18 months of planning is typically recommended by most wedding planners. Below are some of the reasons why some couples prefer to take it slow.
MORE TIME TO PLAN
Ever heard of the quote: “Slowly but surely”? Yup. Long engagements are helpful so you will not make impulse decisions and you can really think and choose everything thoroughly without getting stressed out.
MORE TIME TO SAVE MONEY
Having more time could allow you and your partner to put together a larger budget and start saving for your dream wedding.
MORE TIME TO FIX LOOSE ENDS
Of course before you get married, you (or your partner) would certainly want to fix certain issues in life such as personal, family or career before you settle down. You might want to secure your family’s finances before you go out their nest, or you might want to significantly lower your debt or save up for a down payment for a house. A long engagement can work in your favor.
YOU ENJOY THE PROCESS
Lastly, you still might want to enjoy your time together as fiances before really tying the knot. If this is the case, you might want to make a bucket list together to complete before your wedding!
YOU CAN SECURE YOUR VENUE
You always know deep down that you want that dreamy church wedding so badly or that dreamy fairy tale wedding theme. But just a tip: during this time, it is much safer to have your wedding celebrated in wide open spaces such as garden venues. We don’t mean to brag but Jardin de Miramar offers you that choice! Since we are Antipolo’s top choice for events venue, expect that we offer only the best solutions and packages for your events (especially weddings). We have our New Ways that’s physical distanced ready. So no need to worry about reculating air. Fresh air in wide open space will blow away the virus that we’re all dreading at. You can have your wedding while your loved ones watch you from Zoom call via our Virtually Jardin! Want to know more? Click here.
OTHER THINGS TO EXPECT FROM A LONG ENGAGEMENT
- Having a really long time for planning
- You may have to add/change your guest list constantly
- Getting more RSVPs
- Getting your ideal decor and having time to personalize your wedding
- You get to make sure with your partner that you are on the same page
So in other words, there are pros and cons for both long engagement and a short engagement. Our advice? Do what makes sense for you and your partner — whether that’s a four-month or a two-year long engagement.
Recently got engaged? What’s your plan? Share your story in the comments!
Starting your wedding planning already? Why not check our available venues for your wedding reception?