Transitioning from Engagement to the Wedding
Marriage is all about transitions – as is all of life, anyhow. One transition that the couple may not place so much emphasis on is the transition from engagement to marriage. They assume that it falls into place by itself. But that is not quite true.
Engagement to marriage is a period of preparation, not just for the wedding, but for the life after. Thus, you have to pay careful thought to what you do even outside of wedding preparations, as it can affect your everyday life even after the marriage. Some people may also refer to you as “starting” your life together, even if you’ve actually been dating for quite some time. In order to transition more easily, here are some tips.
Step back and have a look at Yourself
To be comfortable with your partner you need to be comfortable with yourself – and so should your partner. Take some time to see if you feel differently now that you’re married. Be aware of yourself (and your partner), examine your dynamics together and check your expectations. The problem is not whether you’ve met your expectations or not, but whether you had the right or wrong ones.
Patient is a Virtue in Marriage
One other reason for having a look at yourself is to know whether you’ve become patient or impatient. Of course, it’s a given that you have to be patient. This applies even if your spouse seems impatient. Also, as said above, you may have expectations, but you might have to check whether they were the right ones. You have to be patient with yourself as well as your partner. Patience helps prevent an unnecessary marital spat.
Talk It Over
If ever you find transition difficult – or easy – always find the time to talk. If communication is important in a marriage, no better time to use it is this period of transition. If you have a feeling things seem different or need to be talked about, then talk about it. Communication with your spouse will help you get a handle on things and spot issues before they become threats. You might discover things you never thought would be issues if you hadn’t talked.
Make Time For Fun Together
While you take on better or worse together, make the better times count. Step back from the loads of work that you’ve been doing and do something. Go back to a restaurant you used to frequent when dating, or do a new activity. Laugh through the latter even if you do terribly. Going through life means enjoying the joys, so when the downs come, you’ll be more energized for them.
The first year of marriage can be challenging. Perhaps it’s the challenge of adjustment. But that’s just how it is. Keep talking and doing things together, as marriage is a stage of life where you grow with someone.